Insanity temple

...maybe you have been wondering...where the hell is difference maker...???...well...I left...I decided never to come back...but in the great skeem of things you never know what will happen...or when something does...why it happened...maybe you are asking yourself the same question right now...''why am I back''...let me explain you...

...I started this blog to make difference in the world...I wanted the people who are reading it to see the world with my eyes...my soul...my way of thinking...and in a meaning I wanted to be sure that I'm not just one loonatic seeing the grimm and dissastereous world that sorounds us...and later on I succeded...few of you who were still reading my blog before I left whitnessed my lack of emotions in my last couple of posts...lack of passion in hating...and in the end...lack of making the difference...I had to go...because I realised I'm not making any difference...to noone...I kept writting and you kept reading and everything else was still the same...so I stoped...and began sailing around the world...

...the reason I have returned is more of a selfish nature...it came to my knowledge that I lost my mind...''it came to my knowledge''...the expression I used because I didn't know how I have gone mad on my journey...when I returned...my friends were those who pointed out how angry and nervious I was...I am...and I started thinking...why...???...

It's still me...I'm still the same...but one small but very important thing wanished out of my life...the blog...you see...It was the blog that has making me less angry...or if you would...missing it made me angry...this is my spot of light in the expansion of the internet...my corner...my persona...this is me...in the end it was all about that...I wasn't making the difference for the world...I was making it...for myself...

...so I have returned...The Grimm Reaper...The Destroyer...




...The Difference Maker...

...you know...after a while being called insane...you get used to it...being called insane...after a while, you start to believe in that...you get used to people turning their head from you...than...you get used to solitude...not belonging nowhere...you get used to being alone...

...I'm affraid...

...for the first time in my life...I felt...I felt like I belong somewhere...but deep down inside...I know that's not the right thing to do...here, where I am...I feel great...but it's just not right...I should feel nostalgic...homesick...but I feel nothing...

...I'd like some more nothing...

...there is some point in everybody's life when you must make a difficult decision...and here is mine...:


''All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go''

...I'm done with this blog...sometimes...I feel suffocated by it...my inspiration died...along with an old behaviour of mine...now I'm a new man...without the need to pinpoint every each and one of you the problems of the modern world...you can figure it out by yourself...

...so...farewell my faithfull readers...I grew fond of you all...

...your's sincerely electronic friend...

Blades...

...ever wondered about the meaning of faith...not about religions...not about gods or such...just about faith...what does it mean to a man...or a population...is it a motive...or a result...the power which makes people go...or an end of a lifetime...



...in Christianity...or Islam...faith is based on afterlife...Heaven...or Ahiret...it's preety much the same...the names are different...one thing comes to a mind allways when talking about Islam and Christianity...can Christians accuse Muslims of plagiarism...???...funny dough...in law only an author can press charges of a kind...but law and religion oftenly come to a conflict...***...I lost my point...




...in Buddhism...we have...a cellebration of life...so...the end of life is just a side effect...they think of birth...as the ultimate goal of life...funny...monks cannot have children...




...as in the Hindooism...there is no death...just a constant rebirth...interesting...to come back on the world...but not as yourself...you can reincarnate into anything...a plant...a bug...an animal...only the blessed ones get to come back as humans...of course, unaware of their previus existence...nice catch, Hindoo...




...my religion...it's called Domanism(domani-tomorrow (ita.))...I believe that tomorrow will allways be better than today...and I live in hope that tomorrow...I'll have more fun than today...imagine the most beautiful day of your life...if you know that's the best that it can get...why worth waiting for the next day...that's what my religion is all about...

...think about it...if there is no faith...there would be no life...but in faith...I don't strictly mean religion...ateists have faith...somekind of faih everyone of us must have in order to exist...

...in our lives we will allways have second thoughts...we'll allways be questioning ourselves...for the things that we did...things that we're doing...or the things that we're about to do...because coin flips both sides...and sometimes it's hard to determine which side is right...and which is wrong...and than...we have conflict with ourselves...




...oftenly...we wonder if some things we did should have been done differently...better...or some easier way...but thats the problem...they have allready been done...and you cannot change it...you can only feel remorse...if you messed something up...but you cannot repair it...not directly anyway...

...so what to do...???...in time yuo'll be so angry at yourself for doing something wrong that you'll tear your skin appart...and you'll wish that you can go through time so you can repair it...but no...

...but there is a cure...see... time is a constant flux...that allways changes it's dirrections...with every word we say...every move we make...with things that we're doing...or did...or about to do...so...in the end...you can go through time...but only forward...because...with your knowledge of the past...you hold the future in your hands...

...before...I haven't ever really found a place that I call home...haven't really had any friends...or real familly...I was roaming the dark sections of my mind away from the looks of others...I was alone...nobody knew me...nobody ever wanted to take a peak at my soul...

...and than...I met this girl...an angel of serenity...allways ready to help...and listen...with the touch which can heal any wound...with the word which can calm any storm...and we became friends...

...me...boy wonder with a thousand faces...and she...an angel who can heal with one touch...in my mind there allways was some kind of storm...or fire...and she allways knew how to calm things down...sometimes by word...sometimes by hug...and...honestly...in a sence...I owe her my life...because...I've never met someone who cares that much...and loves unconditionally...




...I want you to know...if you're cold...I'll keep you warm...and if you're alone...I'll hold on...in any trouble...I'll allways be there...thank you for being you...

...temporarily unavailable...

...be back in a few months...

...just for those of you who think I'm dead and such...




p.s. ...have you noticed how beautifull new design of mine is...???...Nightmare thanks a lot...